Kronk's New Groove

Disclaimer: I have not seen "The Emperor's New Groove" and have no idea what the movie may be about, except that I imagine it has something to do with an emperor who finds a new groove. Whatever, exactly, that means.

Now, with that disclaimer out of the way let's talk about the sequel to that movie: "Kronk's New Groove". Kronk, to the best of my understanding, is a secondary character from the first movie who now gets his own film with his own misadventures. Unfortunately, the storyline here is a bit unclear. We start out with Kronk sitting in a puddle of liquid cheese that seems to have exploded out of a building and made a huge mess out of everything. He tells us that he used to be somebody and that all of his troubles started earlier that day. We flash back to earlier that day, but the events in the movie seem to take place over several days so perhaps there is another flashback that I missed as well.

Kronk is a big lug of a muscle-bound man with a bigger heart and the respect of the townspeople. Somehow he gets mixed up with an evil sorceress who is peddling some "youth potion" that doesn't really work but folks get kind of addicted to, but Kronk didn't want to get involved in selling the potions but he does because he thinks the sorceress can help with Kronk making his father proud. But all this goes away pretty quickly and Kronk is living his life, working at a camp, being a cook and he meets this woman who is also at the camp and things go well, and then the don't, and then there is a big lesson learned and things may or may not be all good in the end depending on what you believe Disney will provide for an ending. Shocking, all of it shocking.

Or, not so shocking. Honestly, midway through the movie I wasn't sure what "Kronk's New Groove" was all about. After the movie was over I wasn't sure what "Kronk's New Groove" was all about. As I'm writing this review the next morning, I'm not sure what "Kronk's New Groove" is all about. If I can't even say with any real certainty what the point of the movie is, I can't recommend it. There were too many musical montages, the movie didn't seem to have a point, the jokes weren't funny, and it was all fairly dull and unoriginal.

There are a couple of bonus features on the DVD. First off are two "games". The first game makes no sense at all, but is kind of funny. You are to help Kronk complete three tasks by selecting items that will help him in the task. Kronk then goes through a description of how that item will help in the task and then says whether or not the idea will work. Let's just say that the descriptions of how the items will help are by far the most creative and entertaining part of the movie. The second game is "Pyramid Scheme" where you need to amass a certain number of points by answering three questions to move to the next round. The questions are about the movie and also a little bit about the Incas. I answered all of the questions correctly, so it wasn't too difficult. The other bonus feature is a short documentary about how the movie was made. Not as funny as it was intended to be.

Here's the bottom line: I am a 26 year old male and I normally like Disney's animated movies. "Kronk's New Groove" did nothing for me because I believe it is really intended only for children. Children younger than the age of 10 will likely love this movie as it has bright colors, some silly jokes, exploding cheese, a nice moral message at the end about family and friends, and it should be fun for the youngsters. So, parents should feel safe buying this DVD for their children. Personally, I think there are far better options out there for children's movies, but this is a very safe, harmless movie for kids. This movie will fit nicely into the children's market for which the movie is intended. Unfortunately, this is not one which adults will enjoy as much as the kids. It doesn't really work on that second level. And that's fine too.

Adult Grade: D +
Children's Grade: B- (I'm just guessing here, I don't have kids yet).