Sunday, April 22, 2007

The Fantasy Novelist's Exam

Sunday, April 22, 2007
Huzzah! A 75 Question Quiz where answering yes to any question means you should stop writing your attempt at a fantasy novel.

Highlights:

#14: How about "a wise, mystical sage who refuses to give away plot details for his own personal, mysterious reasons"? (in regards to "does a ____ describe any of the characters in your novel)
#31: Did absolutely nothing happen in the previous book you wrote, yet you figure you're still many sequels away from finishing your "story"?
#42: At any point in your novel, do the main characters take a shortcut through ancient dwarven mines?
#56: Does anybody in your novel fight for two hours straight in full plate armor, then ride a horse for four hours, then delicately make love to a willing barmaid all in the same day?

Bless you Rinkworks.

1 comments:

Nick said...

My favorites are

#22 Did you make the elves and the dwarves great friends, just to be different?

#26 "Did you draw a map for your novel which includes places named things like "The Blasted Lands" or "The Forest of Fear" or "The Desert of Desolation" or absolutely anything "of Doom"?"

#31 "Did absolutely nothing happen in the previous book you wrote, yet you figure you're still many sequels away from finishing your "story"?"

#32 "Are you writing prequels to your as-yet-unfinished series of books?"

#33 "Is your name Robert Jordan and you lied like a dog to get this far?"

#51 "Do you ever use the term "mana" in your novel?"

#53 "Heaven help you, do you ever use the term "hit points" in your novel?"

#69 "Is the best organized and most numerous group of people in your world the thieves' guild?"

#73 "Is the countryside in your novel littered with tombs and gravesites filled with ancient magical loot that nobody thought to steal centuries before?"

Sadly, some of this stuff can be attributed to dudes like George RR Martin and Scott Lynch.

 
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