"The Parable of the Shower", by Leah Bobet

"The Parable of the Shower"
Leah Bobet
Lone Star Stories: June 2009

The angel of the LORD cometh upon you in the shower at the worst possible moment: one hand placed upon thy right buttock and the other bearing soap, radio blaring, humming a heathen song of sin.

Fear not! he proclaimeth from the vicinity of the shampoo caddy, and the soap falleth from thy hand.

Motherfu—thou sayest, and then thou seest the light, the wings, the blazing eyes like sunlight and starlight both at once, and since thy mother raised thee right thou coverest thy mouth with one hand and makest the sign of the cross with the other. It is the soap-hand which covereth thy mouth: thou gett'st soap in thy mouth, and spittest—away from the angel of the LORD—and do not curse again though it is terrible hard.

So begins Leah Bobet’s “The Parable of the Shower”, a story about the visitation of an angel and the task it gives to the narrator - to make her pregnant. Leah Bobet strikes just the right tone with “The Parable of the Shower”, with the incredulity and irreverence from the narrator (because really, an angel appearing the shower?).

To answer your first question – yes Bobet does use “thee”, “thou”, and “-eth” throughout the story. In any other circumstance it would be overdone and obnoxious. But, when there is constant angelic communication AND when the narrator continues to protest up the angelic chain of bureaucracy, this is a damn funny sorry. Umm...please excuse the blasphemy.

“The Parable of the Shower” is not a strict comedy, though it is quite funny (to me). There is a deadly serious aspect about how this sort of thing might go down today. This is not entirely a re-imagining of the manger story with a modern spin. Jesus already came and went and there is such a thing as the Bible. This is for the next Son of God. Maybe this is the official Second Coming, maybe not. Doesn’t matter.

It’s a delightful story.

Shadow Unit: "Sugar" - aired.

The second episode of Shadow Unit's second season is live: "Sugar", written by Leah Bobet.

That is all. Go read now.

two good stories

As I procrastinate on writing some actual review content, here are two good stories I read yesterday.

The first is "Kimberly Ann Duray Is Not Afraid", by Leah Bobet. The reviews / commentary I've read on this story have made mention about the racial tension regarding the white protagonist and her black husband - not necessarily between the two, but race matters in this story. Now, I guess I didn't read the reviews closely because I just assumed that a story with an interracial marriage and racial tension just had to be set back thirty - fifty years ago. It's not. Bobet's story depicts a future where race doesn't have to matter because, in a very controversial procedure, race can change. I thought it was a heck of a story, but I tend to like what I've seen from Bobet ("Bears", for example), so take that for what it is worth. I think this story shows some of Leah Bobet's range.

The second story I want to mention is "Apotropaics" from the perpetually excellent Norman Partridge. Yes, Dark Harvest left that much of an impact on me. "Apotropaics" purports to be a vampire story, at least on the surface. I think it is set in the 1950's and Jason has just returned from vacation with his parents and his friends rush up to him telling him about a vampire that he has to help them kill. Jason and his friends might all be eleven, by the way. It's one of those things that Partridge doesn't come right out and say. Now, the trick here is that I'm not sure this is a vampire story at all or that there are any vampires. But, Partridge also leaves that open to interpretation. Regardless of what the truth of "Apotropaics" is, it's a good story. First published back in 1992.

Oh, according to the dictionary apotropaic means "designed to avert evil", or in other defintions, "to ward off evil". Interesting.


One last thing. I haven't read this yet, but Subterranean also has a Cherie Priest story up which shares a setting with her forthcoming novel The Boneshaker: "Tanglefoot: A Story of the Clockwork Century". Now, you know how much I liked Priest's novels, right? Life is good.

Shadow Unit: Season Two News

There’s been some happenings going on over at Shadow Unit lately. Besides the now twice weekly mini story updates covering the time between seasons, there have been a couple of announcements.

First, Leah Bobet and Holly Black have been added to the writing staff. Bobet gets episode two, Black gets the season finale. Those are some big shoes Holly Black needs to fill given just how outstanding a job Bull and Bear did with Refining Fire.

Second, we have an episode list.

• 2.1: "Lucky Day", written by Emma Bull and Elizabeth Bear
• 2.2: "Sugar", written by Leah Bobet
• 2.3: "The Sin Eater", written by Emma Bull
• 2.4: "Getaway", written by Emma Bull
• 2.5: "Wind-Up Boogeyman", written by Elizabeth Bear
• 2.6: "Cuckoo", written by Will Shetterly and Emma Bull
• 2.7: "Smoke & Mirrors", written by Elizabeth Bear
• 2.8: "Not Alone", written by Holly Black

Can’t wait!

Bears, by Leah Bobet

I finally got around to reading Leah Bobet’s short story “Bears” and I’ve got to say, this is a weird, weird story.

And I like it.

This is the one I mentioned a few months back with the wonderful opening

Ninety-eight percent of all fictional deaths are directly attributable to being eaten by bears.

Bullshit, you say? What about those shooting and stabbings and drownings and beatings and death by Doomed Gay Manlove?

Well, it's not my problem if you can't see the bears.

The rest of the story unfolds as the bears begin to get loose from the stories you thought you knew and the bears have their own agenda. Get past the first couple of pages and this is something of a weird delight.

I rather like this line, too:

"You are ascribing moral values to a force that is inherently without morality," I tell him, and give him a shove forward. "Anyone who even rolled up and smoked a philosophy text could tell you—"

Bears! I've to read this!

I’ve been slack on reading short fiction lately (though I did finally finish that issue of Weird Tales), but I stopped by Strange Horizons and there is a new story by Leah Bobet up. I mostly liked her previous SH story.

This one, however, has a bloody brilliant hook.

Ninety-eight percent of all fictional deaths are directly attributable to being eaten by bears.

Bullshit, you say? What about those shooting and stabbings and drownings and beatings and death by Doomed Gay Manlove?

Well, it's not my problem if you can't see the bears.

I have no idea what the rest of the story is about yet, but I loooooooooove this opening.

Strange Horizons

Next to Subterranean Online, Strange Horizons is quite possibly publishing some of my favorite online fiction today. Recently I haven't had much to talk about in the world of short fiction, but I’m still reading through Strange Horizons last month or two (I got behind) and they've got some nice quirky stuff. Nothing that right now makes me want to jump up and down and shout from the treetops about (let's ignore how I got up to the treetops), but decent stuff all the same.


Recent Reads:
The Perfume Eater, by R. J. Astruc
The Girl from Another World, by Leah Bobet
Wake Up Call, by Leslie Brown
The Captain is the Last to Leave, by Caroline Lockwood Nelson
Artifice and Intelligence, by Tim Pratt
Limits, by Donna Glee Williams


I rather like The Perfume Eater and The Girl from Another World, though Bobet's ending left a bit to be desired. The Perfume Eater is better. Limits is a decent story, too, after the first couple of pages when we start figuring out what it might be all about.